there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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