I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
