Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
My liver just had a heart attack.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Randomize
