Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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