i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize