You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
