Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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