i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
