am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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