O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
