You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
