Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
