Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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