im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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