Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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