We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
