So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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