Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize