I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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