is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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