I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Come see our sink grown plant.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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