i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Randomize