So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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