I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
