You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
