Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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