3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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