can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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