People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
God, you're like boner-b-gone
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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