I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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