let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I have grass duct taped all over my body
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
