I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
