I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
