My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
