He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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