But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
