dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
