My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
