in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
You pole danced in your parka.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
