if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
