is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
