quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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