WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
