i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
it was like his penis was on wheels.
honey bunches of taint.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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