Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(914): View more from New York

apparently the secret to your success is patron

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(504): View more from Louisiana

You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.

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(917): View more from New York City

It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.

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(519): View more from Ontario

I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.

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(518): View more from New York

I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex

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(+61): View more from Australia

Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.

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(970): View more from Colorado

I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?

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(914): View more from New York

There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier

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