forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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