Can Purell be used as lube?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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