I'd wear matching sweaters with you
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I need a hoe opinion
go on
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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