3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
