My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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