i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I have tasted many bathrooms
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize
