the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize