Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
