Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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