On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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