he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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