K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
