if i can run in heels then i can drive
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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