we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
