Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize