READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
