thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
