community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
