Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How does it feel to date your dad?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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