THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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