I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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