that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
