I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
he just fucked me for my cheese..
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
